| Studies have repeatedly shown that positive | | | | non-accusatory fashion. For example, if your child is |
| reinforcement can be more effective at changing a | | | | dawdling with their homework, you could start by |
| child's behavior than using punishment. Positive | | | | pointing out how well they've been doing in school. |
| statements made to a child when they do something | | | | Then, work your way into a discussion about good |
| right can help them learn the proper behavior, in | | | | ways to get homework done efficiently. If you need to |
| addition to helping them build their self-respect and | | | | reinforce a limit with your child, state it clearly without |
| self-esteem. In fact, one of the most influential forces in | | | | yelling. For example, you could acknowledge that you |
| a child's life is the kind of interaction and communication | | | | know they would like to go outside and play, but calmly |
| they have with their parents. Children tend to learn | | | | point out that they won't be able to go outside until |
| pretty quickly what kind of behavior gets the most | | | | they complete their homework. |
| reaction out of their parents. If you only react and | | | | Using Rewards Instead of Bribes |
| communicate with your child when they misbehave, | | | | There is definitely a difference between a reward and |
| you might actually be reinforcing the bad instead of the | | | | a bribe. If you have specific expectations for your child, |
| good. | | | | such as getting their homework done before playtime |
| The Basics of Positive Reinforcement | | | | or cleaning their room up each evening, you should |
| The art of positive reinforcement is basically easy, but | | | | never offer bribes to get them to do these things. |
| there are still some tips you can follow to insure | | | | They need to learn that it is their responsibility to do |
| effectiveness. Pay full attention to your child when the | | | | these things. However, if your child does something |
| two of you are speaking to each other. Don't appear | | | | exceptionally well, such as getting a good grade on a |
| to be distracted or disinterested, and always allow | | | | particularly hard test, then you should celebrate and |
| your child to finish speaking without being interrupted. | | | | reward their achievements. This will help your child |
| Don't use labeling behaviors with your child. For | | | | learn that there are certain things that are simply |
| example, it is much better to say "I need you to put | | | | expected of them, but that going "above and beyond" |
| your toys in the toy box." instead of "You're bad for | | | | has its own rewards. |
| leaving your toys on the floor." Be sure you are | | | | Always Be Consistent |
| speaking in a positive fashion, as your child will learn to | | | | Consistency is very important when interacting with |
| model their behavior after your own. Always | | | | your child. Stick to your rules once you've made them, |
| compliment your child for good behavior and for things | | | | and don't allow them to do something one day and |
| they do well. However, always be sure that your | | | | then not let them do it the next. Don't confuse a child |
| complements are truthful and sincere. Children have a | | | | with unimportant decisions, and remember that it's |
| real skill for seeing through dishonest flattery, which will | | | | often necessary to tell a child something more than |
| only serve to erode your child's trust in you. If you | | | | one time. Speak clearly, and make sure that what |
| need to correct bad behavior, do it in a positive way. | | | | you've said is understood. Above all, always maintain a |
| Start with a statement that reinforces something good | | | | positive attitude, because it's a sure bet that they will |
| about your child. Then, make your statement in a | | | | be imitating you. |