| 1. Be sure your child's IEP describes what he needs, | | | | speech therapist as often as you need to speak to |
| who will provide it, and how his progress will be | | | | your daughter's teacher. Nor does it mean you need to |
| evaluated. The goals should cover a variety of areas, | | | | speak with your child's teacher every other day. |
| such as social skills, and daily living skills, in addition to | | | | In the beginning of the year you will need to give the |
| educational goals. Your child's success in | | | | teacher about two or three weeks to get everyone |
| mainstreaming is dependent on more than whether he | | | | settled and to get to know your child. After this it's a |
| can read or write. In fact, it is possible for a child to be | | | | good idea to maintain weekly written contact, through |
| doing well educationally but fail at mainstreaming | | | | a notebook or e-mail. You should also speak personally |
| because of social adjustment problems, or through | | | | to the teacher at least once a month; twice a month if |
| poor hygiene or grooming issues. | | | | there are more critical issues going on. It's sometimes |
| The goals need to be solution focused: they should | | | | disconcerting and a little scary, but it has to be doen, |
| state what your child needs to do, not what he is doing | | | | since you need to hear how the teacher feels about |
| wrong. They also need to be broken down into small | | | | your child. Does she talk about him with a warm, caring |
| steps, so that your child will be able to accomplish | | | | tone? Or is she dismissive? Sometimes this only |
| them. Do not allow a goal that says, "Cassandra will | | | | comes out in a one-on one conversation. |
| stop fighting with other children in the classroom." | | | | Monthly contact with other specialists is most likely |
| When does she fight? How often? What should she | | | | enough. During these phone calls, your goal is not only |
| do instead of fighting? How much of her day do you | | | | to find out how your child is doing-again refer to |
| expect to be free of fighting? Is that a reasonable | | | | specific goals-but also to share information that you've |
| expectation? What consequences (positive or | | | | gleaned from your talks to other professionals. This |
| negative) will take place when she fights, or when she | | | | helps everyone work together. |
| chooses to find another solution to the problem? | | | | If you have a case manager that does this for you, |
| Be sure it is very clear who will work with your child to | | | | that's great. You will still need to be in contact with the |
| achieve the goal. Be very specific; writing "a staff | | | | teacher, but you can leave the other professionals to |
| member" can lead to the "everyone was supposed to | | | | the case manager, who you will contact on a monthly |
| do it, so no one did it" problem. The goal should say | | | | basis for updates. |
| "main teacher, recess monitor, etc." Ideally it would be | | | | 4. Remember that your child's teacher is your ally. It's |
| even better to have the names of those responsible | | | | not easy being a teacher. Today's teachers are faced |
| written into the goal. | | | | with large classes, and are dealing with children with all |
| Make sure there is some sort of system set up for | | | | types of issues, many of which they may have |
| making sure the goal will be worked on. When will the | | | | received little or no training in. |
| aide practice role-playing with your child? For how | | | | Whenever an issue comes up with your child, always |
| long? And even more importantly, how will she know | | | | try and see it from their point of view. This doesn't |
| when your child has accomplished the goal? Again, | | | | mean you have to excuse unacceptable behavior, but |
| being specific is the key. Usually a goal is accomplished | | | | it does mean you approach the situation determined to |
| when a child can perform a particular action 80-90% | | | | find a solution, without blaming and judgment calls. |
| of the time. Some things might require 100% | | | | Show your appreciation by showing up at the school |
| compliance, like physical aggression towards other | | | | (your child will probably object to bringing it) once or |
| students. | | | | twice with a delicious desert, accompanied by a short |
| Usually you shouldn't go lower than 80% in terms of | | | | note of appreciation for all the work she does. It's also |
| accomplishment. Anything less than that is either | | | | nice to give a teacher- appropriate gift at the end of |
| frustrating for the staff and child to work on, or doesn't | | | | the year, with a note of thanks. Visit a teacher supply |
| really need to be worked on right now. If you think | | | | store for ideas. |
| your child will not be able to make it that far after 3-6 | | | | 5. Be supportive, not overbearing, to your child. |
| months, then you need to rework the goal to one that | | | | Sometimes parents are so worried that their child will |
| she will be able to accomplish. | | | | be successful at school that they micromanage their |
| 2. Make sure the IEP contains information about what | | | | child. When their son or daughter gets home, they may |
| has helped your child succeed in the past. This can be | | | | pepper the child with questions about his day in an |
| based on what you have seen work at home, or on | | | | attempt to gauge how things are going. If something |
| what other teachers have found is helpful in past | | | | goes wrong, they may overreact, or give advice, or try |
| years. If you know a teacher who was particularly | | | | too hard to smooth things over. |
| successful with your child, ask them to write a few | | | | If you have good channels of communication set up |
| paragraphs about what they did with your child. Ask if | | | | with the school, you won't need to rely on your child to |
| they will allow other teachers to consult with them. | | | | find out how things are going. If something does go |
| Bring it with you to the IEP meeting; this way anyone | | | | wrong, and your child is at fault, then you will need to |
| who works with your child will also have access to this | | | | address the situation. If the teacher is at fault, be |
| valuable information. | | | | careful not to rant and rave about the teacher in front |
| Again, always be specific. If your child has crying spells | | | | of your child. |
| and responds well to comforting, write exactly how | | | | First of all, you probably don't have all the details of |
| she needs to be comforted, and about how long she | | | | what happened. Second of all, even if you despise the |
| needs to be comforted. It may seem unnecessary, but | | | | teacher, if your child sees or hears you badmouthing |
| it isn't. Different people have different ways of doing | | | | the teacher, she will very likely do the same, which will |
| things, and what you thought was obvious may be | | | | only cause more problems. |
| completely foreign to someone else. | | | | The most important thing to remember is that your |
| 3. Make sure to maintain regular contact with the | | | | child is more than the sum of her deficiencies. She is a |
| people that work with your child. This means teachers, | | | | special person; not because of her disabilities, but |
| teacher's aides, therapists, pull-out specialists, etc. This | | | | because she has something special to give to those |
| doesn't mean that you need to be in contact with the | | | | around her. |